Wednesday, June 30, 2010

In the beginning

Here are some pictures from Rachel & Norm’s wedding. It was my first Jewish wedding. I’ve been to Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Civil and even Greek Orthodox weddings (where everything is in Greek and it is like two hours long…thanks Kons). Some weddings are long, some require a lot of audience participation, and some make you sing awkwardly to an unknown hymn. The Rabbi came out and asked who had been to a Jewish wedding before. The bride’s side all raised their hands. He explained all we had to do was yell out “Moseltof” once Norm stepped on the glass. It was 90 degrees and sunny weather, so the crowd was all melting. I wondered if my deodorant would make it through the whole ceremony. Well the Rabbi sped read a whole bunch of Hebrew and the next thing I knew, Norm stepped on the glass. I was in shock because the whole thing wasn’t more than ten minutes long. Wow, them Jews sure know how to do a summer wedding right.
At the reception, they did the traditional dance where the bride and groom were
lifted on chairs and shook like a bucking bull. It was hilarious. The bride and groom were white knuckling it to say seated while they were tossed high above the dance floor.

The best part was of course on the dance floor. The bride is part of a dance troup. When Michael Jackson's Beat It came on, the dance troup did the entire choreographed routine...including the whole knife fight joining hands dance. It was AWESOME! Oh I hope they got that on video.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Small world...huge consequence

A couple of weekends ago, I flew into Kansas City for a brief 24hr visit to attend a friend’s (and doppelganger) wedding. I was sitting in the plane waiting to push off from the Chicago gate Saturday morning when the captain said we would be delayed just a bit so that they could put more fuel in our plane in case we had to circle for a while or be rerouted to St. Louis or Omaha. Yeah, that is words a traveler never wants to hear. Apparently a massive storm was approaching the Kansas City area and they were going to try to outrun it and get in before it hit. Again, not music to my ears (nothing better than a reckless PILOT!). I heard witness account of the storm and apparently it was like hurricane downpour with multiple fork lighting bolts for 20 minutes before turning to bright blue skies.
My friend Farrell (known mostly as my accomplice in many bad ideas in NYC) picked me up and took me to an awesome burger joint, Blanc, in the Plaza where I had truffle fries for the first time. They are made of potatoes, truffle oil, salt, and awesomeness. He told me all about “icing” people and I am so going to try to start that up in Chicago. Basically if you find a creative way to give someone a Smirnoff Ice, then they have to get down on one knee and chug it. He was iced last week when a friend wrapped the bottle in a tortilla and foil (aka the burrito ice).
I arrived at the hotel to find my suitemates in bed “disco napping”. They were three other girls that knew the bride from a book club which was more of a regular cocktail and gossip session. I originally was going to share a room with a girlfriend “Sassy”, but her boyfriend and she were getting serious and I would be the awkward third wheel in the hotel room. Our room hosted the pre-wedding party for the Chicago friends to gather beforehand. When Sassy walked in and introduced me to her boyfriend, there was a brief moment where we were struck with a case of déjà vu. It then suddenly dawned on me that I knew him because I went on a date with him once about a year ago. The silence got awkward as he realized it too. Sassy asked “do you two know each other” and I said yes but it was a long time ago. She then shocked me by saying “did you meet on eHarmony…” which hit the nail on the head.
The group got on the shuttle bus to take us to the wedding. A guy friend, Bob, sat next to Sassy’s boyfriend and riddled him with questions. He said “that is so funny you went on a date with Lindsay…where you one of her 13 in 14 experimental guys…you know when she just said yes to everyone and ended up with 13 dates in 14 days…you know one of them even sent her an email about his gigantic dick! …that’s not you right” The boyfriend looked confused as was like um no.
Bob later confessed to me he said all of that to the boyfriend. He laughed when he told me about how shocked the boyfriend looked when he found out the dates and the big dick email was out on the internet in my blog. I couldn’t believe Bob asked him point blank if he was the big dick guy, but I had to nod my head to confirm that he WAS THE BIG DICK GUY! Yep, and couldn’t believe it myself. 8 million people in the Chicagoland area, and our circles overlap. I do have to admit, he was a very nice guy…just not the guy for me. Now the moral dilemma is posting this entry. On one hand it is one of the most ridiculous stories EVER to happen to me. On the other, she will probably read this and now know all of us know her boyfriend is very well endowed. Actually, that isn’t so bad right?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Goonies - I have proof

Okay I know, it has been a while. I've been very busy and too exhausted when I come home late at night (from work...not parties...I have no social life...sigh).

I did notice this story that caught my eye. Okay, the background information...I love the movie Goonies (as does most of the 30-40 year old population) and I have probably seen it over a hundred times. It is one of those fail-safe movies that if I come across it while flipping channels, I will usually watch it. One time, I watched it in Spanish because it was on Telemundo and there was absolutely nothing else on TV (I know, read a book). My rational was "well it IS a good movie...and I already know what they are saying anyway".

Once I caught a version that had an scene with an Octopus. Just once. While the kids are in the water outside after coming out of the most awesome water slide ride EVER, this octopus brushed up against the girl with the glasses leg. She blaimes Mouth because he is just the kind of slime ball who would feel up wet leggings but then eventually is attacked by the Octopus (because frankly she needed a scene since she has been playing the 3rd wheel for the whole movie).
From then on, I would tell people about this scene and how it all makes sense now because at the end, the girl with the glasses was telling her parents "oh and there was this octopus" and I was like "what octopus". No one believed me (it was like I was Chunk telling a tall tale) and I swore up and down this scene exists.
And here is the proof. Octopus deleted scene.
If this link is expired (since I took freaking forever to write this up), then just YouTube Goonies and Octopus.