A couple of weekends ago, I flew into Kansas City for a brief 24hr visit to attend a friend’s (and doppelganger) wedding. I was sitting in the plane waiting to push off from the Chicago gate Saturday morning when the captain said we would be delayed just a bit so that they could put more fuel in our plane in case we had to circle for a while or be rerouted to St. Louis or Omaha. Yeah, that is words a traveler never wants to hear. Apparently a massive storm was approaching the Kansas City area and they were going to try to outrun it and get in before it hit. Again, not music to my ears (nothing better than a reckless PILOT!). I heard witness account of the storm and apparently it was like hurricane downpour with multiple fork lighting bolts for 20 minutes before turning to bright blue skies.
My friend Farrell (known mostly as my accomplice in many bad ideas in NYC) picked me up and took me to an awesome burger joint, Blanc, in the Plaza where I had truffle fries for the first time. They are made of potatoes, truffle oil, salt, and awesomeness. He told me all about “icing” people and I am so going to try to start that up in Chicago. Basically if you find a creative way to give someone a Smirnoff Ice, then they have to get down on one knee and chug it. He was iced last week when a friend wrapped the bottle in a tortilla and foil (aka the burrito ice).
I arrived at the hotel to find my suitemates in bed “disco napping”. They were three other girls that knew the bride from a book club which was more of a regular cocktail and gossip session. I originally was going to share a room with a girlfriend “Sassy”, but her boyfriend and she were getting serious and I would be the awkward third wheel in the hotel room. Our room hosted the pre-wedding party for the Chicago friends to gather beforehand. When Sassy walked in and introduced me to her boyfriend, there was a brief moment where we were struck with a case of déjà vu. It then suddenly dawned on me that I knew him because I went on a date with him once about a year ago. The silence got awkward as he realized it too. Sassy asked “do you two know each other” and I said yes but it was a long time ago. She then shocked me by saying “did you meet on eHarmony…” which hit the nail on the head.
The group got on the shuttle bus to take us to the wedding. A guy friend, Bob, sat next to Sassy’s boyfriend and riddled him with questions. He said “that is so funny you went on a date with Lindsay…where you one of her 13 in 14 experimental guys…you know when she just said yes to everyone and ended up with 13 dates in 14 days…you know one of them even sent her an email about his gigantic dick
! …that’s not you right” The boyfriend looked confused as was like um no.
Bob later confessed to me he said all of that to the boyfriend. He laughed when he told me about how shocked the boyfriend looked when he found out the dates and the big dick email was out on the internet in my blog. I couldn’t believe Bob asked him point blank if he was the big dick guy, but I had to nod my head to confirm that he WAS THE BIG DICK GUY! Yep, and couldn’t believe it myself. 8 million people in the Chicagoland area, and our circles overlap. I do have to admit, he was a very nice guy…just not the guy for me. Now the moral dilemma is posting this entry. On one hand it is one of the most ridiculous stories EVER to happen to me. On the other, she will probably read this and now know all of us know her boyfriend is very well endowed. Actually, that isn’t so bad right?