Why I'm still single

And by request, here is another bad date story. Actually it may be the worst date ever story. I was looking forward to meeting this one guy. He was cute in this dorky way (super skinny and with a little tuft of hair on his receding hairline that refused to give up…seriously, I wanted to go up and pat that little patch of hair and tell it to “keep holding guys, you hold on there!”). The first hour we spent talking about his family because he is one of eight children! EIGHT! Evidently in a large family, everyone just paired up and had a buddy. He told me about his buddy brother (they were a year apart) and all the crazy stuff they used to do as a kid. Fast forward another hour and my stay in NYC came up. I mentioned living there from 2006 to 2008, and he remarked “oh you were there during the Olympic marathon trials”. I then gushed about seeing all the professional runners and how cool it was but also unfortunate because one guy died and it was really tragic because he was really good and such. Well my date turned pale and got really quiet. He then said in a whisper “that was my brother”. Yeah, the buddy brother! What are my odds! Needless to say, there was not a second date.

You ARE the father!

I found this advertisement on the train funny. For only $120 you can find out the identity of your baby daddy. Granted, the $120 actually goes towards a ticket on the Maury Povich Show.

No diggity, no doubt

Here are some pictures of my SummerFest weekend. We caught No Doubt (with Paramore opening) in the big theater. Big Mike, Jose and I scored 9th row seats off to the side! Granted, I am not a No Doubt superfan, but word got out that they were only playing their greatest hits, and I couldn’t pass on friggin 9th row! The show was AWESOME! I have to say it, but after having TWO babies, Gwen still had some insane abs (it must be all that sleeping on a pile of money). Plus she ran around the stage with a ton of energy and still sounded great live (this girl can really sing). Okay yes, I now have a newfound respect for her (before I was just jealous because she got to bang Gavin…mmmnnn).
Paramore is fronted by this 95lb flaming red-haired sprite who matched Gwen’s energy level and talent (granted she didn’t sound as good, but still pretty good). I loved how eager their band was to play at a big venue. They had choreographed moves and the bass player even flipped over the guitarist’s back (you just had to see it). Super cute!

Crowd Shot


Gwen opened "I'm just a girl" by doing push ups on the stage. During this, she ended up bending over RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! You can see how many people whipped out their camera phones to get pictures of her ass.


The No Doubt Drummer. He wore black lipstick and a pink tutu. During the drum jam, he came out to the crowd right next to us. My camera wasn't fast enough. Dag he was hilarious.


Both No Doubt and Paramore join up for one of the last songs.


No Doubt Rocking it out!


Paramore

Generation Gap

Two weekends ago, I joined my friend Big Mike at an out of town wedding. Needless to say, hotel rooms were involved (get your mind out of the gutter, separate beds because neither of us wanted to drive home after the reception). Anyway, there were a total of three single girls at the reception. Well that is if you count me. Actually, I should not have been counted since the four single guys in attendance were all my friends. The two single girls were seated at a table together, and when the opportunity arose that they were alone, Foley (one of the guys) immediately swooped in for the kill. First he talked to the blonde who was more attractive, but she turned out to be a total coke head. Like that is all she could talk about. Strike one. He then switched to the brunette who was all giggly. He eventually brought her back to his hotel room (shared with one of the other guys) because it was the “party suite”. Seriously, we brought in alcohol and a sound system and jammed out after the reception. When taking music requests, she shouted out “Bon Jovi”. The guys were all mentally high-fiving each other because she was a keeper (hello, 80’s music is the fastest way to a man’s heart). They put on the classic Bad Medicine. The girl scrunched up her face and said “this isn’t Bon Jovi, he doesn’t sing this…he sings like Have a Nice Day and Who says you can’t go home…”. There was an audible gasp before Big Mike asked how old she was (all of us are 30+). She replied 22, and that is when I lost my inner monolog and blurted out “you are so dumb”. Later she laughed so hard that she fell off the bed into that small gap between the bed and wall. Her feet swinging over her head smashed into the wall with a large thud. I almost peed myself laughing (at her, not with her).

I do have to note that earlier during the reception, Big Mike’s sister-in-law and I busted out the thriller dance on the dance floor during a Michael Jackson Tribute.

Ixnay on the Hombres

On June 20th I went to The Offspring concert. What you say, they are still around…hell yes, and kicking ass too. They have been one of my top three bands ever since high school. I have every album except their greatest hits…which I didn’t need because I have every fricking album. Anyway, I am not some music snob who will point out that most of their songs do sound the same, it is their energy and humor that entertains me the most. I know the words to practically every one of their songs, and I think I annoyed my friends at the concert because I sang along to EVERYTHING! Although I am a huge fan, I have NEVER seen them in concert. Seriously, they weren’t big on touring through Nebraska and Kansas, and when they came out to the East Coast they would stick to the stadiums way out in commuter New York. They finally came to Chicago, and picked the coolest venue to perform at. The open air theater is where Miggs Field used to be, right downtown along the lakefront next to the museum campus. The stage backdrop was the Chicago skyline. Rock’in.

I have waited over a decade to see Offspring live, and it was totally worth the wait. Probably top five most awesome concerts I have ever seen (and I’ve seen some good shit). The crowd was a mix of 30+ year olds like me who grew up loving their music and the generation gap of 16-18 year olds who have just been introduced to their greatest hits album. To gauge the energy of the band and how they influenced the crowd, I would say an 11. Hell, they had to stop playing halfway through the SECOND song (Bad Habit, fyi) to clear the way for the medical crew. Granted I was with the other old people standing in the back avoiding the mosh pit.

Chicago Skyline









Here is Dexter playing Gone Away acoustical on the piano. It was cool but Big Mike is still complaining about it because it is so bitch’in on Rock Band.


Pretty Fly for a White Guy

Sights around town

Here are some random pictures I found on my camera.
I returned from a friend's birthday party in Lincoln Square. I guess some prankster decided to pour dish soap into the fountain. Yes, there is a fountain under there.



Pictures of downtown Chicago (taken from the museum campus) on the most gorgeous day!