Chronicles of Lindsay: December 2012

I am jealous of men. They can avoid nasty truck stop toilet seats, pay less at the dry cleaners for basically the same articles of clothing, and never have to wonder whether they put their thongs on backwards (I hope). But the one thing I am most jealous of is their ability to manipulate their hair. If a guy decides to try out a different hair cut, and it doesn't turn out at planned, then he can just shave it off and start afresh. I meanwhile, have to deal with ridiculous bangs for six months. Plus there is the facial hair...the male's version of accessorizing. There are like 20 different kinds of mustaches, let alone beards, sideburns, and whatever disgusting neck growth the hipsters are favoring these days.

Jewed Law has been considering a full head shave for some time now. He is on the losing end of the battle over the forehead hairline, so he figures why not beat nature to the punchline. Knowing the shaved head was in our near future, we saved it for a key moment...Halloween. Unfortunately this decision came about a month too early and he spent a couple of weeks with excessively shaggy Kris Angel hair (why pay for a hair cut when you are going the buzz the darn thing in a fortnight).
The Halloween party theme was "I love the 80's", and he had the perfect costume in mind...Mr. T. Sure, a skinny, pale, Jewish man is exactly what comes to mind when I think Mr. T. impersonator. The intricate hair cut meant I had to do the shaving, and oh man...shaving a man's thick head of hair is soooo much fun! I had to stop every 5 seconds to gain composure after being overtaken by a fit of giggles.

Here is the progression of the hair-extraction for your enjoyment...

No surprise, Jewed Law's awesome costume was a smash at the party. Upon seeing him, everyone would exclaim, "whoa, did you really shave your head!...you shaved your head for a costume?...are you going to leave it that way?".

This same party the previous year had some pretty poor participation with costumes. Surprisingly, this year everyone brought their 'A' game. In attendance were:

She-Ra
Richard Simmons (complete with short shorts and peppy attitude)
the Blues Brothers
a pair of Smurfs (with Blue-face...they were committed because that blue paint did not look comfortable)
Claudia from the babysitters club (my favorite BSC girl cause she had mad style and one hell of a sweets/hording problem)
Baby and Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing
and my vote for most awesome (besides Jewed Law of course which was in a different league), a girl with the exploding chest alien from Spaceballs (she is pregnant, so the costume was doubly hilarious...the alien even had a top hat and cane!)