Farewell Farrell

Thursday marked a very sad day in my NY experience…Farrell moved. This brother like friend helped me make a place for me in a huge unknown city. After almost a year of adventures (see previous blog posts), he is heading back to the greener (and cleaner) pastures of Kansas City.

On Wednesday, Bree and I met up with Farrell and his adorable mom in little Italy for dinner. Okay adorable is commonly used to describe children, but seriously, his mom was 5’-0” tall and super petite and I wanted to pick her up and put her in my pocket. She said during dinner that her sister is sooooo short at 4’-11” to which Chris pointed out that it is only one inch shorter than her. She then told him the idea that her sister is under 5’ is makes her so short. Anyway she was soooo cute and really added to the dynamic of the evening.

We had a delicious dinner in little Italy. The waiter practically just ordered for us, and he did not miss. I would have licked the plate of my dish if I didn’t think anyone was watching. Little Italy cracks me up because every surface that can be painted was covered by the Italian flag. I am kicking myself for not snapping a photo of the painted fire hydrant. Mulberry street (ie the main street of little Italy) is like walking down a state fair carnival fairway with food and game vendors flanking the sides. We stopped in a trendy looking rice pudding shop where little Italy stopped and SoHo took over. It only sold rice pudding but it was in all the flavors of ice cream like rocky road, etc. The store signs were hilarious…”go ahead a eat, you are already fat” or “we won’t tell you the secret ingredient that makes our pudding taste so good, but we will tell you it is the same thing that give Viagra its kick”. Ah ha ha.

After parting ways, I met up with my running friend Amiee at Rudy’s (how could I not since I live a block away from it). Anyway I was glad I wore my cute blue dress to dinner because she introduced me to her friend Andy. She has wanting to set me up with him for ages but I had always been dating someone. Anyway he is supposedly a wildly successful investment banker who owns a condo in Hoboken. Add to the list that he is laid back, athletic, and tall….basically every mom’s dream son-in-law. We are going to try to meet up next week.

Thursday was the final night of Farrell-pol-looza because he and his mom were flying back in the morning (early in the morning). We met up at Irish Rogue for dinner and drinks. After two beers, his mom started slipping out amusing stories of when she was in college. Evidently she drank a bottle of Wild Turkey on her 21st birthday. Since then she has not been able to drink (or smell) any brown liquor. Note she is maybe 90 pounds soaking wet, so I can see how awful a bottle of whisky would affect her. At one point Chris asked her to “earmuff” it because he had to share some scandalous information that would upset her. Well she obediently “earmuffed” and cracked us all up in the process.

The most interesting thing of the night was the couple hopped up on aphrodisiacs. There were drunk (well I would hope so) and grinding up against each other at the bar. We were hanging out on the upper floor which has a more lounge feel with couches and lower volume music. Well the upper floor has a lone unisex bathroom. Basically you open the door and there is the toilet. The horny couple thought they were all sneaky (nothing funnier than watching a drunk person try to act sly) and went into the bathroom together. All of us (Bree, Ali, Josh, his friend?, Farrell, and his Mom) saw them go in and we immediately broke out in a bunch of “you know what is going on” looks and groans. We kept that in the back of our mind, but continued to have a blast drinking and talking. About an hour later Bree and I asked each other, wait they have been in there a long time! Okay whisky dick does prolong things, but now we were starting to get worried. We told the bartender about the couple and how we now thought they were either in trouble or passed out in the restroom. The bartender got the bouncer to pound on the door. He leaned over to us and said “I hear voices in there so….” The couple eventually emerged and the entire bar started clapping. They were so oblivious that I don’t think they realized EVERYONE knew they were having sex in there. The cherry on the top of the hot fudge Sunday story was Bree’s discovery. As we were leaving the bar, we passed by the no unoccupied bathroom with the door wide open. Bree all of the sudden pointed and said “look those are her underwear”! Sure enough there were a pair of woman’s underwear bunched up on the floor. Well I assume they were hers because it is pretty hard for a woman to suddenly loose her underwear (okay okay, some girls it comes quite easy, but physically, you know what I mean). I pity the clean up crew.

So ends this chapter. Farrell you will be missed!