Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Things you want to see and things that scar you for life

After catching a post work nap (Bree and I both agree that they are delicious), Farrell came over for night two (Friday) of Farrell-pol-looza. We decided it was going to be 40 night and we proceeded to load up on various 40oz beverages. Later Bree and Ali came over to enjoy in the festival. For lack of a better activity, we watched the Friday night movie on my limited channel selection. For a while there I got Cinemax, the History Channel, and VH1, but the cable guy got wise and fixed the glitch. No worries since I still get Bravo and the Food Network channels. Around 2am and a few 40’s later, we decided to head out to the bars…better late than never. We hit the street and couldn’t decide whether to hit our usual haunt Rudy’s or try a new place. Bree decided it was time for a change so we headed cross town to the Gingerman which has over 60 brews on tap. Yummy. Actually I had been there before with Phil and a coworker who shared an interesting story about the holiday party. Well after last call, we all parted our separate ways. I got an interesting call the next morning from Bree. She passed Rudy’s on the way home and saw the place was crawling with cops and police cars. Something major happened because the place wall all taped off with yellow caution tape! I guess we missed out but I am not disappointed if it was a shooting or stabbing or something bad. I’m telling you, crazy stuff follows me!

Saturday night started out the same way with Farrell and I watching movies and drinking 40’s at my place (I have officially become boring). After waiting for people to get ready, we met Dave down at the White Horse Tavern in the West Village. Evidently the place is quite old and is where the poet Dylan Thomas (rage rage against the dying of the light) drank himself to death. True story, they even had an article about it. The guy had like a dozen or two shots of whiskey, walked out the front door, and died right there on the front steps. I guess the brooding artist was a raging alcoholic….hmmm sounds like someone I used to know.

After enduring the sausage-fest that was the White Horse, we moved on to Tortilla Flats found a few blocks away in the Meat Packing District. This place smelled of chips and salsa. Now when you smell one of your favorite foods, even if you are not hungry, your mouth still starts watering. Well Dave and I were ready to tackle a waiter. The place was colorful and had a margarita machine that was the color of urine. They may be known to have a mean margarita, but I could not help gagging when I saw the concoction. We did see how the make it with four random bottles of cheap tequila poured into the vat. Um…pass.

Our next bar selection was also from the “famous” bars of NYC list…..Coyote Ugly. Well actually it is Hogs and Honeys, but it is owned by the same guy as Coyote Ugly and it was where they actually shot the Coyote Ugly movie. Plus it was only a few blocks away in the meat packing district. We walked right into an even worse sausage-fest (well what do you expect if you knew the place would have hot scantily clad female bartenders). Seriously it was like sailors at port. There were maybe five girls in the entire place. Well yes the bartenders had little more than tiny bikini tops, tight cut off shorts, and cowboy boots, but they were total bitches! Seriously, the ring leader queen of the bitches had a bull horn and kept yelling at the men. Not coy I am flirting with you yelling but bitch you out spit in your face yelling. If a guy didn’t tip her enough, she would chew him a new one…over the bull horn. If a couple was talking near the bar, she would accuse them of humping and tell them where the nearest hotel was…over the bull horn. If a guy was buying himself a drink, she would demand he buy her or him a shot…you guessed it, over the bull horn. I was annoyed and hid out in the back because she was yelling at girls to get on the bar and dance. Ummm…no. After one drink, we high tailed it out of there before the guys lost any more money or got singled out by the evil bartender.

Now it was hard to find another place to visit since it was near closing time (that is 4am to my Chicago and Nebraska folk). Don’t get me wrong, the meat packing area is full of clubs and bars, it just was too late. Luckily there was a place called “the diner” still open. Yes you guessed it, it was a diner. The exception was how cool it was. It served the standard greasy spoon dishes along with club lights and a techno DJ. It was like still being at the club, but eating! Mmmmm..nothing beats onion rings at 4am!

Okay this is not part of the weekend, but I have to include it in the post. On my way to work this morning, I saw some young guy pacing in front of the crew entrance for the musical “Curtains”. It is not uncommon to see guys hanging out there either catching some sun or a smoke between rehearsals/shows. The guy looked mid 20’s bike messenger so he fit the part well enough. Well as I got closer, I saw that the back of his pants were soaked. When he turned around, I saw the front was also wet and in the “I just pissed myself pattern”. The area around him was all wet like a water balloon exploded. A black guy walking next to me saw the same thing and said “damn nigga, that shit is gross”. Ahhh could not have said it any better!


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