Sunday, March 18, 2012

A study...part 3

Well the wait was worth it...I passed my test! I have been studying during my free time for the greater part of the last two months, and everything else has been shelved as a secondary need. Now I am left with a filthy apartment, a pile of dishes, a dusty gym bag, and no clean socks. I was so stressed out that I even impacted my bowels! Too much information?...well here's some more. The test was wednesday, and by thursday (even after I knew I passed) I started to get intense abdominal pain. So much so that I couldn't sleep and was convinced I had internal bleeding from some unmemorable accident. I went into the doctor Saturday morning and the doctor originally considered sending me straight to the emergency room. She asked when my last poop was. Thinking about it, I would say about a week. She then said "well I'm going to need to put my finger up your butt". Yep I got to know my general practitioner REAL well in the next five minutes. Two fleet enemas later (oh yes...self administered...which I will never unlearn) and I am hopefully out of the danger zone. I don't know what was more myself that second enema or possibly having "death by poop" on my tombstone.
Okay enough with the personal stuff...wanna hear about interesting characters at the library? A few weeks ago, I observed the guy with a metal hook for a hand. Well a few weekends later, my table mate was a man with an eye patch. I considered telling him about hooky hand so that they could start up a kick ass pirate crew.
An old man who looked like Santa Claus sat a table away. He had the full white beard, rosy cheeks and bowl-full-of-jelly belly. He looked like St. Nick in every way...except for the cross tattooed to his forehead. Clearly he was a December man...just a bit confused.
A man across the reading room was either crazy or reading the greatest page turner ever. I say that because each time he turned the page, he would exclaim "aaahhhh" like it was a great surprise.
A family of three sat on my other side (one mother and her two teenage children). They were the champion distractors. The son was playing video games on his laptop (with the sound on). The daughter was talking on her cell phone. And the mother was asleep...snoring AND drooling. I wasn't mad since the study material was so dry and they certainly were entertaining. Eventually the librarian came over and asked them to please grab a magazine or book to "at least pretend they were at a library". Well played sir, well played.


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