Sunday, January 22, 2012

A study...

I have been quite absent in my writing, but I have good reason. I am currently studying for this test to improve my career (or at least give me some more letters after my name). Studying hasn't been easy since I am easily distracted. That is why I have forced myself to get out of my apartment and find camping grounds to bunker down and concentrate. Of course (since it is me and everything) my study spaces are not devoid of unusual activity. Here is what I observed this weekend.
Saturday was quality time at the library. I stationed myself in the children's section of the small Uptown library for several hours. You ask what I am doing in the children's section...well yes I totally looked like a pedophile but it was much better than sharing a table with homeless people. Seriously the library is just chock full of homeless people (or at least the one in Uptown). The children's section had a few signs stating "children adults allowed" that I conveniently ignored. Thankfully the staff let me be since I was quiet, clearly studying, and kept my hands out of my pants.
Sunday the library is closed, so I had to settle for the Starbucks in my hood. It is a "Magic Johnson" Starbucks so you know it is ghetto. Still I was able to study for several hours at one of their library/communal tables (seats six). The downside of being at a communal is having to deal with other table mates. One man poured HALF the sugar canister into his coffee. It was like that moment in A League of Their Own were Tom Hanks pees for four minutes. I couldn't believe it and kept thinking "he must be done now...okay now...uh now?" I wanted to lean over and peak into his cup to see what it looked like. Well at least he didn't "drink" his coffee with a spoon.
Another table-mate was a girl and guy duo. He was loudly tutoring her in quantum mechanics (not kidding). I kept thinking it was part of a hidden camera show because he sounded like a Russian physicist and she looked like Jersey Shore community college.
My favorite neighbor was the old man with a HOOK for a hand! Yeah I couldn't believe it either. He had the look of a homeless guy, so I bet he had a bad ass street name like "One hand Sam" or "Hooky Lou" or "Bill the Pirate". I have to admit, he was very distracting...I mean the hook was distracting enough...his "reading" style didn't help any. The guy had a couple of paperback books that he was systematically marking up with a pen (underlining words, crossing off sections, etc.) as well as tearing out pages. The fun part was that he was tearing out pages with his HOOK! Made me wonder if he was doing it on purpose or if it was one of hazards of having a hook hand.


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