Friday, January 18, 2008

Reserving our place in Hell

I had a running date with Marathon Man. We ran the North Woods trails of central park and I showed him my favorite sites (waterfalls, hidden outpost fort, make out spots, etc). At one point we faced a huge cliff and he suggested we climb it. We started on our way up, and about half way up, he said “hey, I just realized this is kind of dangerous, I mean we don’t even have foot holds”. Yeah that is when I looked down at the 30ft + drop off and realized “shit, I sure hope I bounce”. Anyway, the second half of the climb went much slower because we were aware of our impending doom. Afterwards we decided to take a break (because he had the meat sweats and it was upsetting his stomach) and walk through the Central Park Conservatory. Wow, it was beautiful….even in the winter. All of the hedges were perfectly manicured and contoured into interesting shapes. I wish I could have captured how they smelled… a pine tree car freshener but soooo much better. I almost hyperventilated trying to inhale all of the marvelous scent. Plus the bushes and trees were all so fluffy that I ran up to one and embraced it explaining “It was just begging to be hugged”. M-Man eventually piggy backed me out of there because that was the only way I would agree to leave.

Later after a Tex-Mex dinner, we stopped into CVS. I strolled down the toy aisle and picked up an ugly looking dog puppet. I shit you not, behind the dog puppet were two stuffed animals going at it doggie style. I called over M-Man and confessed that I did not pose them like that. He then suggested we arrange all of the stuffed animals into sexual positions. Yeah I know he is the perfect guy for me. So we check to make sure no one is watching and placed all the animals into one massive orgy with hopes that some six year old discovers it.


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