Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Just for laughs

Monday night, Marathon Man and I had a date before embarking on Christmas travels. We headed over to Caroline’s comedy club for the $5 comic showcase. Yeah, only $5 and you see roughly 10-15 comics over two hours. Not a bad deal. The first couple are usually armatures, the middle few have been featured on comedy central or reality TV, and the last ones are usually recognizable names (sometimes SNL people stopping by). Here are the highlights:

One girl commented that she thinks all Latino men are hitting on her when they talk. They probably are not, it is just the way they talk. Then she went through this whole conversation of visiting her Latino doctor (with the most perfect hilarious accent).
Doctor: Oh mammie, you cum back to seeee me so soooon. Remember lest tieme, you so seeeck and I make you feel sooo better. Okay let me take your temp, so drop your pants. Oh nooo, you want it in your mouth instead, okay I just remember you no do orally well.

Another old guy with a dead pan dry humor voice (think Ben Stein) was a former dentist. He said he was the “fifth dentist” from the 4 out of 5 dentist commercials. He says “yeah sure, eat gummy bears, it is good for business” and “naw, don’t floss and stop brushing, I have a vacation to pay for”. He once shared an office with a gynecologist because rent is so high in Manhattan. One time, they accidentally mixed up patients, so when he asked “what brings you in today”, the girl’s response was “well it burns when I pee”. He then said (slowly) “well….maybe you are brushing too hard”.

A flaming gay guy said his dream job would be to choreograph water fountains. He then acted out how it would go with jazz hands….splash splash splash, and sprinkle sprinkle, and whoosh, and I am spent.

My personal favorite was a guy who explained the relation between hand placement while dancing and sexual preference. Hands below the shoulder means he is straight. At the shoulder is in the danger zone. Above….flaming! I guess you needed to see how he demonstrated it. So hilarious. He said, “from now on, just ask a guy to dance for you in order to figure out if he is gay or straight…..well come to think of it, if a guy is willing to dance for you, chances are, he is gay”.


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