Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Teacher - Student relations

If you are just tuning in, let me inform you that I have taken on the NYC dating scene like a hillbilly in a Dale Earnhardt Jr. store. I met up with “Brewtopia Boy” in Hoboken on Thursday. Okay, on a side note, to protect the privacy of strangers, I have nicknames for all of the boys I date (who am I kidding, I just want a way to talk about them behind their backs without them catching on). Sofar there has been Canadian, Rock Star, Wall Street, Swim Boy, Speed Dater, Brewtopia Boy, and Marathon Man.

How do I describe Brewtopia Boy….well I can tell you what my roommate said to him…”no talent ass hat”. Okay, she was really drunk and he was not faring so well at the mini basketball game thing. Actually he is quite sporty since he played catcher for his college baseball team. That seemed like a odd choice since he is 6’-3” tall? Oh well, at least I know he is used to going down….oh snap!

He had the ability to grow and anglo-fro which would make our combination of curly nappy hair a reason why our children would require therapy. Okay cute---check, funny---check, athletic---check, what could be wrong? Here is how I discovered his one flaw.
Me: So what brought you to Hoboken (he is from Oregon)?
Him: Well work mostly.
Me: Oh, did you specifically look for a job out here, or did you get transferred like me?
Him: Well, after I graduated, I just started sending out resumes.
Me: Wait, after you graduated….when did you graduate?
Him: 2007
Me: From grad school right.
Him: Naw, just bachelors.
Me: Wait, how old are you?
Him: 22, and you are 26, and I am cool with that.
Me: No, I’m 28.
Him: (big wide eyes), oh, well that makes a big difference, it is like over a half decade, I mean you graduated high school when I was still in elementary school.

Okay age gaps are normally not an issue among adults. However, the immediately post college folks are still essentially kids, and it makes a BIG difference to them. I mean, I hear all sorts of stories of relationships gone wrong because one person is an adult and the other is 20 or 21. Whatever, I just am trying to say he didn’t handle the news well. I on the other hand am very proud of myself for landing such a young buck. Maybe next time I’ll hang around campus and try to score myself an 18 year old.

Sunday was my date with Marathon Man (also sometimes referred to as Chemistry guy). He scored big points by suggesting we take a class at the trapeze school. Yeah, I’m talking about circus trapeze! They have classes that teach you how to do aerial stunts while swinging/jumping 30 feet in the air. Granted, my upper body strength has diminished so much since I was a child that I cannot make it across the jungle gym bars. Damn fat ass.

Anyway, we could not get into the class because it was sold out a month ahead of time. Our plan B date started at the JMZ chambers street subway stop. It was voted the most old school decrepit subway station. Like the closed City Hall stop that Bree and I saw, this station was built in the 1920’s art deco heyday. It originally had twelve subway lines but now it only serves three. It also connected to the long removed Brooklyn bridge overhead cable car trolley (similar to the Roosevelt Island one). Anyway, the place is full of beautiful tile mosaics, art deco decorations, walled up doorways, and wrought iron stairwells that lead to no where. It is also completely falling apart so it is currently under conservation construction.

Next, we waked across the Brooklyn Bridge to see some pretty impressive Manhattan skyline views. Okay, I’ve done this before, but it is still awesome. Right off of the bridge is the Brooklyn promenade which is basically a park along the waterfront. It was voted to have the best view of Manhattan. We watched the sunset from there. Okay tease me all you want, but it was an original date idea. The park also had this green fiber optic art display. I’m not sure if the artist was trying to make a hedge or something, oh well.

We headed over to the famed pizza joint Grimaldi’s. Unfortunately, there was a line down half the block. A two hour wait for a pizza in 40 degree weather….maybe next time. What I don’t understand is that it was 5pm on a Sunday….besides Senior Citizens, who eats then? We wandered thru the DUMBO neighborhood (down under the Manhattan Bridge overpass) in search of another eatery. At one point, we were on a narrow deserted cobblestone road between two brick graffiti covered warehouses. He asked me “you brought your gun right? Because I only brought my ninja skills”. Ah ha ha….no seriously, potential mugging territory.

To wrap up the date, we found another pizza joint, talked (and I found out he is the only republican teacher I know), and took the subway back to Manhattan. I give him an A- (only because he is a red state) and we are heading to a punk/rock show of one of my favorite bands, Against Me this week. He has agreed to sport a faux-hawk…..mmmmnn, cannot wait.


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