Starting 28th with style.

After a very celebrated birthday on Friday, Saturday morning came with a vengeance. Allison was foresighted enough to get back to my apartment early in the night because she had a test bright and early Saturday morning. Now they told her it was a personality test, but she described it more as an IQ test. Luckily she is a genius and probably could pull high marks while hung-over. It was 4 hours, but broken up into 7 minute sections. She said it was like “go….stop! pencils down, flip the page,” etc.

Once she got back from her massive test, we got lunch at my favorite brunch place, Vinyl. Now I have Maria to thank for introducing it to me. The place is full of action figures and dolls (like Barbie) of celebrities placed into dioramas. Where else could you see the entire New Kids on the Block as Ken dolls posed in a mock early 1990’s concert. Plus the bathrooms are all themed. For example, the “Dolly” room has a Dolly Parton doll, full wall Dolly mosaic, and played only Dolly music. I started humming “work-in 9 to 5” while washing my hands.

It was at lunch when we decided we would spend the rest of the day drinking and watching movies. After we were buzzed we were going to get our palm read by a $5 fortune teller. We figured it would be interesting to hear what he/she had to say if we threw her off with drunkness. We were laughing so hard about the idea that we were punch drunk at the grocery store. Seriously, we were laughing so hard and giggling about it, the cash register lady probably though we didn’t need to buy anymore booze. Sadly, we ended up napping during ‘the Departed’ and never did get around to drinking and fortune telling. I know, who could possibly fall asleep during a bang them up, shoot them in the head drama like ‘the Departed’ but hey, Friday was rough.

Later, Allison and I met Jody out for dinner because she wanted to take me out for my birthday. Okay we hardly know each other, but hey, I’m not going to turn down a free meal. We let it slip to the waiter that we were out celebrating my birthday (okay just one day off, but since it was on Friday, you can count it for the entire weekend). Sure enough, I got another free dessert (tiramisu) with mandatory birthday candle. Hurrah…Birthdays rock!

So the plan was to get the gang together for one massive Birthday party. Farrell’s birthday was Sunday (Feb 25th) and mine was Friday (Feb 23rd). We figured this would be a good enough reason to get drunk….that and it was a Saturday…nuff said. We were going to meet up at this SoHo Hawaiian themed bar, but it was all rented out for a MTV staff party. Sad, I was looking forward to the flaming drinks and hula dancers. Anyway, we met at a staple bar in the East Village instead. For some reason there were balloon animals up in our section. Also there was a giant pink penis plastic bottle. It was huge (girth was the same as a coffee cup) and complete with veins and gonads. Bethany (note pretty intoxicated) wanted to drink out of it, but we refused to let her (goodness knows where that had been). Being the immature people we are, Ali unzipped his fly and inserted the fake falic device. He then walked around starting conversations with unsuspecting girls. The highlight was him posing for a picture with two girls. They were sitting down and he was standing up. Basically their heads were at eye level with the falsie and they still didn’t notice. I need to get that picture because it is sooo funny seeing the girls all smiling with their faces literally inches away from the pink protruding member.

The boys wanted to give Farrell an Irish Car Bomb (guniess and Irish whiskey) but the bar was not cooperative. They offered a can of guniess beer and a shot of whiskey. The boys asked for a glass so they can make the drink and that was beyond the bartender’s limited brain power. No worries because we skipped over to a favorite east village dive, Doc Holiday’s. There the boys finally got their car bombs and played buck hunter video game. First it was the golden tee boy craze, now buck hunter. Oh well, at least they think they are playing a real sport. While the boys were killing off white tail deer, I talked with Ali’s tag along friend (yep, can’t remember his name…typical Lindsay). Turns out he works as a film editor for Porn! He offered to hook me up with some free-bies, all I have to name is the type. He has seen it all and nothing shocks him anymore. Imagine that, you spend eight hours a day watching porn. Ah ha ha ha. He said he tunes it out and it no longer is a stimulant. The draw back is that he finds himself tuning it out while with his girlfriend. I think he phrased it as “well you just glaze over and then look down and realize what you are doing and then hope she didn’t catch you not paying attention to her”. Ah ha ha ha.

So the clock hit 3am, and we all turned into pumpkins. Actually, we felt just drunk enough but anymore would push us into the puke, black out, or sleep stage. The boy and I left to catch some pizza slices (man I gotta stop eating that fourth meal at night). While walking down the street, the boy got a call from his old frat pledge dad Brian Fisher (aka Fish). Turns out, he was in town visiting his little brother and they were out drinking at the Horseshoe bar which was only two blocks from our current position. Now there is a fraternity connection between Fish and Marshall, but I also knew Fish. He was a KSU engineer and one of the best guy friends of my good friend Katie Kabler/Evel. Anyway it was a great reunion but in jeopardy of being cut short by “last call”. The boys had the great idea of buying some six packs and heading back to Marshall’s cave. Okay, Marshall’s apartment (which was only three blocks away) is so small that two people make it feel crowded (and four people damn near made it a phone booth). The boys had fun doing the secret hand shake and saluting the bar sign that Marshall stole while in college (seriously, I just shook my head and tried to fall asleep on the sofa). Finally they ran out of beer and everyone left….at 6am! Yep it has been a long while since I last headed home from a night out while the morning sun was already up. Glad to hear I am still acting like a 21 year old even after 7 years.