Tea-bagged

I got to spend an extra day with my Mom with her flight was outright cancelled. The only hiccup in the schedule was that I had a kickball game that night. So instead of having her amuse herself in my 200sf apartment or roam the wild and crack filled streets of New York, I decided to bring her along. Granted I did lure her to it by promising that she could have delicious delicious delicious Thai food afterwards.

Our kickball league is “just for fun” but I don’t think the other teams got that memo. Our team consists of 15 girls and 3 guys (on a good day, otherwise it is just one or two guys). The remainder of the teams are 15 guys and 3 girls. Besides the gender stacking, the main difference between our team and all the others is that when we do something (anything) good, it is rewarded with tons of clapping, cheering, and all around girly noises. Come to think of it, everything is celebrated, even our mistakes. The other teams like to shout at each other and act generally pissed off that the opposing team doesn’t just hand them the ball and quit. Yeah, our record reflects our laid back, clap and sing sorority-like team.

I had my Mom sit on the team bench and observe us as we attempted to keep the game close. Because we were playing at a NYC schoolyard, there was not much space between the field and sideline. I would say only five feet separated home base and the end of the team bench. The first few innings, I kept looking over and waving at my Mom (like a proud and happy child) and I couldn’t help think that she was sitting awfully close to the action. The opposing team’s pitcher was universally dubbed an “asshole” by our team (and a few other teams that we talked to afterwards) because he liked to speed roll the ball with a bowling ball like spin on it. Yeah, hard to describe, but it was fast pitch speed and acted all wacky after it contacted your foot. Well in the 6th inning, a guy from our team was up to bat, and once he kicked the ball, it bee-lined right to my Mother’s face!!! Yeah, the ball was going at an alarming speed, and all of the five feet it had to travel to reach where she was sitting didn’t give it much time to slow down. Bam! Right smack in the middle of the face! Her glasses flew off her face and she clutched her nose. I ran in from 2nd base (I had batted two people before the guy) and grabbed her in the biggest bear hug as if it would protect her from other foul balls. She kept saying “I’m okay, I’m just startled…..no I’m fine, go back to your game…yes I am okay, Lindsay let go…seriously, Lindsay let go of me”. I put her down on the far side of the bench and had the other players stand around and shield her for the rest of the game. Luckily, there was no blood (and therefore no broken nose or loose teeth etc to worry about) and her glasses were not bent or broken. I don’t know if anyone has seen a parent/loved one injured due to your gross negligence, but it is the worst feeling in the world. I just wanted to say “I’m sorry Mommy, I would never hurt you” and burst out crying for forgiveness. Thankfully, my Mom is the coolest person in the world, and laughed about it later over chicken pad thai.