Dipping into the vino much?

Monday night, Dana and I attended a wine tasting class in SoHo. I’ve always wanted to learn how to properly inspect and taste wine, and now I can act more self righteous and obnoxious. Frankly, I mostly went just to drink wine. The presenters were all talky-talky and I was like “less talk, more pouring”. They actually talked so much that we missed out on tasting the final wine. I nearly jumped to the other side of the bar to retrieve the bottle because hell, I paid for it! I don’t care about how atrocious it is to classify your wine as an ice wine even when you have not let the grape whiter and die on the vine. Blah blah blah!

One of the presenters was a pregnant lady. I think there was a collective gasp in the room when she took a drink of the wine. I could see all the disapproving bubble thoughts of how she is unfit mother, etc, until she spit it out in the bucket. I guess that is how you are supposed to taste wine. You would think something as sophisticated as drinking fancy aged wine would not involve spitting up in a bucket. What is it for beer drinking…a toilet?

The other presenter was this old lady who had worked at/owned a winery for 30 years. You would think in that time, she would learn how to pour wine. Seriously, this lady dripped the wine all over our laps EVERY TIME! It got so bad that I started holding the note paper under the bottle when she was near. You would think she would get the hint since I was being rudely obvious about it, but NOOOOO. She got distracted speaking with another class attendee during the final pour of the night and ended up dousing both of our laps!