Aged to perfection

On Friday night, I met a Chicago friend out at an 80’s bar in Alphabet City. I of course show up on time and no members of the group are there. Why do I have to be so punctual? I mean is it really a bad thing…you know to show up when YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO! Okay enough ranting since everyone else in the world is obviously accustomed to being late…well everyone but my father who still believes in the practice of getting to the airport three hours ahead of time.

Finally the whole crew was there and we quickly monopolized the VIP/dance floor/lounge area. Don’t get me wrong, we are not the snobby VIP type of people….I mean come on, we stuffed our coats behind a fake plastic tree (Radiohead shout out). From our elevated vantage point, we were able to scan the dense crowd below. I spotted a preppy cute guy near the bar. Unfortunately Shari spotted him too and called dibs before I could protest. The two of us made our way down to the bar under the ruse of getting more drinks (we are soooo clever), and we positioned ourselves right next to him at the bar. I looked over to him and saw he was looking at me (probably because we shoved him aside to make room at the bar....you know, drunk subtlety). I placed my order and looked back to see him staring at me! Well I don’t know if he was staring at me because I was staring at him in the awkward tug of war. Before I could capitalize on the situation, Shari jumped between us with an ice breaker question (damn gotta get me some skillz). We eventually had to leave to deliver drinks to the rest of the group, but we made sure to tell him exactly where we were in the bar.

About a half hour later, Shari and I decided to scan the crowd and watch our cute guy from afar. While looking at the crowd, I noticed a heavy amount of body grind dancing. Yeah, the classy hump the leg, push your ass into the crotch, dry rub each other type of dirty dancing only exhibited by frat guys, very drunk girls, or your typical bitch ass ho. Sadly Mr. Dreamy was no where to be seen and we presumed he had left. Oh well, plenty of fish in the sea (or more appropriately, plenty of naive boys in the city). I headed over to the restroom line only to see our handsome prince wandering around looking for something. Gasp, he came up to find us…high five. I maneuvered him over to Shari and then took up conversation with the other guys in the group. Okay, I do have to give a shout out to the rest of the guys so they can say they MADE THE BLOG: Phil, Steve, Josh, and Eddie….holla holla! I mentioned to the boys that I was going to let Shari have her chance with him….but if she fails, I would go in for the kill.

Well Shari lost interest and I swooped in for my shot. I will not bore you with the drunken conversation. You know, blah blah blah, what do you do, blah blah blah, where are you from, blah blah blah, wanna make out. Okay I did find out he is a Wall Streeter from Iowa, and only 23! What is with the young guys! My last three men options have been 22, 23, and 24! It has been such a young pup streak that my Mom has told me “well Lindsay, aren’t there any nice young men your age there…I mean these boys are all younger than your baby sister”. Thanks Mom. Well the cute guy did perk up the self esteem by commenting to me, “wow you are 28, I would have never guessed it. I mean you are just so……so well preserved”. What? Well Preserved! I’m not a jam or ham buddy.