So there was this test and this butt....

A word of warning to any engineer thinking about taking the PE test…..it will F you up! Never in my life had I experienced such a horrendous test! You see a problem and think “I have never seen anything like this in my entire life….now which reference book should I attempt to scan”! It got to a point where I just flat out guessed on some problems. To make matters worse, those bastards made it hard to guess. The four answers would be 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5! Agggh, you cannot even eliminate some answers to make a better wild guess! You are only allowed to bring a certain type of calculator (there are only for approved models). If you do not have an approved model (you know one that may do more than an abacus), they take it away. A woman in my section had her calculator taken away and I secretly hoped no one would lend her one because then she would do bad, lower the curve, and give me a better shot of passing. Isn’t that horrible and downright evil of me! No worries because her neighbor did give her his spare calculator. Anyway, I left the test with tears welling up in my eyes but waited to all out ball until I got back to my apartment. I’m mostly sad because I put so much time into studying and preparing and I am most certainly going to have to take it again. The awful part is that I don’t know how I can study for it better because the things on there I didn’t know were no where in my notes! Seriously, I had never seen some of those things before in my entire life. I would not know where to start to gather this random information. Sigh.

My misery was not alone. Farrell called while I was sobbing in my own self pity to tell me that he and Bethany broke up. This is the same couple that I wrote about before about becoming engaged by accident. Well misery likes company, so he came over with 40’s. While we were both lamenting, Bree and Ali stopped by on their way home after celebrating 4/20 (oh yeah, did I fail to mention the test was on 4/20). They literally live around the block from me. I mistakenly gave Ali my bag of cheetos and he devoured the entire thing! He also worked on his aluminum foil origami skills, but that is a whole other story. To round out the gang of my NYC hood, Marshall stopped by after band practice only to find all of us far from sober and partially passed out.

My super friend Allison (she told me to write that, but hey…it is true anyway), came into town Saturday for a weekend getaway and film related interview. It turns out that the weather in NYC was actually better than LA this weekend. We had sunny skies and 80 degree weather. I guess it is god’s way of saying, sorry for giving it to you up the butt during that test Lindsay. The good weather had people emerging from their winter hibernation and the streets and parks were full of people basking in the sun.

First thing on the agenda was to return my spare calculator. I did not end up using it and figured I may as well get my $15 back! While we were walking thru Bryant park we passed the carousel and decided it would be fun to ride it. Hey the sign said adults could ride and for $2 it was a mountain of enjoyment. We scoped out the horses and jockeyed our way around children in order to secure the two prettiest horses in the ride. One of the kids was a little girl with her mom. Now they were dressed exactly alike! Seriously down to the pink izod shirt and white long sleeve undershirt and white capris. I wonder what level of hell the father is in.

Still feeling childish after our spin around the carousel (which by the way was a huge amusement to the other adults around the ride) we sipped on juice boxes and would have eaten fruit roll ups if I would have remembered to pack them.

We headed over to Macy’s so that Allison could get some pantyhose for her big interview. While there I had to show her the tulle garden of prom dresses. In a whim, we decided to each try on one long ball gown and one short one (who in their right mind would wear a knee-length yellow tulle ball gown?). Sadly I couldn’t take pictures in the dressing room (too pervy even for me) while we giggled and showed off the hideous baby blue green orange and yellow sequined and frilled creations. Is it sad that we are two grown women trying on hideous prom dresses or that there were high school girls in the dressing room trying on the dresses for real? Ponder that thought.

After a long lunch at “Burger’s and Cupcakes” (seriously we were there 90 minutes….the waitress must have suffered from narcolepsy….I hope that is the one where you fall asleep and not want to hump dead people), we headed off to central park. We laid in the “sheep’s lawn” in central park along with over a thousand other people. I think everyone had the same idea of taking a nice nap in the sun. Mmmmmnnn, nap. Anyway we had our own soundtrack thanks to some nearby guys strumming the guitar. A brief bit of entertainment was provided by the enormous ass crack showing of a nearby girl. Seriously, Allison and I talked about it for ten minutes. We could not tell if it was the upper, middle or lower part of the crack because we did not see the top of it. At one point, Allison said “I swear, I feel as if her vagina is getting a breeze”. We had to take a picture of it just to prove how horrible it was. Yes we are perves but at least we tried to pretend that we were not trying to take a picture of her giant exposed ass crack!