Thursday, April 22, 2010

Ferret fun

The plight of the single girl is “where have all the good ones gone”. If you are single at my age, then there is probably a reason for it. You know, something that you think is totally normal that most of the public just doesn’t get. This is also true for the guys. Case in point, my recent date. While we were enjoying a micro brew on a rooftop beer garden, he suddenly whispered to me “I think that is a ferret toy”. What! He pointed to a stuffed animal a girl pulled out of a shopping bag at the next table. Before I could respond with the pertinent questions like “how the hell do you know what a ferret toy looks like”, he butted into the other couple’s conversation to discuss ferrets. The girl was all excited because she just bought a ferret and can’t wait to spoil it. My date has two of his own. She then pulled out a few costumes for the ferret (yep, they exist) and my date was “OMG did you get that at”. Her date and I just shook our heads in a sad sad way.
A beer later, we had officially joined that couple. I learned that her ferret’s name was Paddington and I asked if she intended to have it mocked at school recess. This was all encouragement her date needed to join in the teasing. My date’s ferret’s names were Mr. Wiggins and Samson, and this lead to some discussion about their sexual preferences (they do dress up in flamboyant costumes..I’m just saying). They mused about starting up a facebook group for ferret lovers. Her date then said, “if you make that group, then I’m going to start one of my own that says ‘my dog can eat your ferret’”. Okay wrong, but funny.
Once the evening was over, I knew I would never go on a second date with the ferret lover. He called the next day and left a voice mail message because I wasn’t prepared to talk to him (and deny any date request). Well the voice mail message was hilarious in a sick way. He sounded very down and said he had a great time and would like to go out again…but when he returned home, one of his ferrets was dead and he needed to take some time to grieve. Sorry I know it isn’t a funny subject, but I found it pretty hilarious. Poor guy.


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