Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The good, the bad, the ugly

The good: Ryan’s new toilet seat. The other choice was a Tiger prowling through tall grass. Not the image I want to think of when on a toilet.

The bad: Two girls and a cup video. I’m not including a clip of this because it is the most horrible movie ever! Seriously, most of the boys refuse to watch it. I think Bill has video of my reaction to seeing this movie clip. I’m just glad I didn’t vomit all over their carpet.

The ugly: Well Jensen is not ugly. I guess the ugly part is my soul since I did initiate the “hey, lets draw on him since he cannot defend himself”. Although, Ryan did score me the marker.

So the back story is that I stopped in Chicago for a couple of days on my way back to NYC. Earlier in the day, Ryan and I ate dinner while watching Fuse TV’s “pants off, dance off”. It was hilarious. Basically five regular people try to prove that they have a wild side and strip on cable television. Of course these people are pure armatures, and they totally suck. One guy got his shirt stuck over his head, and you know he was thinking (while stuck) “I should try to act sexy while I yank my shirt over my ears”, so he started shaking his ass. Yeah you just had to see it. Anyway, they have a pop up video like host who will pop up in the corner and sarcastically make fun of the person whenever they are struggling. One booty-licous girl turned around (so her ass faced the camera) in a thong, spread her legs, grabbed her ankles….and then waved. Huh? The host popped up and said “wait, did she just do a va-jay-wave, lets rewind and see”. Yep, it was hilarious! Plus it got us talking about having a bear living in your va-jay and he would swipe out a giant paw whenever someone tried to break into the “den”. Okay, you did need to be there.

Anyway I met up with Chicago friends at Bucktown pub that night. After drinking our fill, a large group headed back to Ryan’s where he promised to show us some amazing video. I’m thinking how can it possibly beat the train wreck pants off was, but oh how was I wrong. He screened the movie “Cool as Ice” starring Vanilla Ice for us. Okay, we didn’t watch the whole movie because he fast-forwarded only to the parts when Vanilla was a complete douche. Well the massively bad acting was too much for Jensen and he passed out on the couch. That is when I decided to decorate his face, and I have NEVER done that ever before. Well after drawing in the facial hair (complete with just ONE sideburn since he was sleeping on the other side), I decided it just needed more! We were all laughing so hard that I had to stop in the middle of writing “douche” to make sure I spelled it correctly (my punch-drunk mind almost put “dooche”).

I stayed at Ryan’s that night (him and Melanie are my Chicago hotels), and in the morning, I woke up to see Jensen’s forehead starring at me from across the room. I immediately started cracking up which made Jensen confused (hence had not looked in a mirror yet). The best was when Ryan started laughing from the other room just because he knew why I was so amused. No worries because it was washed off before he left the apartment.

Later I was dropped off at the airport, and the only story I have to report is that our stewardess was so dumb that she said “now hurry up people, we were waiting 30 minutes at the last airport” while holding up five fingers.


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