Original Swinger

I’ve always been fascinated with the circus. I love watching the acrobats swing in the air, the various beasts jumping through flaming hoops, the contortionists bend down and bury their own heads in their asses. I even remember reading books and watching movies when I was little about people running off to join the circus.

A few Saturdays ago, I dipped my toe in the water. Well actually I swung from the rafters. Marathon Man and I signed up for a flying trapeze lesson at the NYC trapeze school. He actually suggested it for our very first date, but it is so popular that you have to sign up months in advance. I practically skipped on our way to the class. When we showed up we realized it must be a chick thing because M-Man was the only guy there (besides the circus professionals). In a class of ten, it was us two, three girls from Scranton PA and a bacelorette party. Yep, a whole lotta vagina going on there. Because he was the only guy student, the women would all cheer for him. He didn’t need it though since he was the star student (probably because he was the only one with enough upper body strength to do a pull up).

The progression of the trick was:
1. climb up scary shaky ladder to a platform suspended 30 feet in the air.
2. place toes over platform and grasp trapeze bar (while leaning waaaaay over the edge)
3. jump off platform and hold on for dear life
4. at the peak of the swing, bring your knees up and hook them on the bar
5. once knees are around bar, release hands and lean back (upside down) with outstretched arms
6. at the peak of the swing, a burly muscle bound sweaty shirtless circus guy would swing up on his own trapeze and you would reach out and kick off your legs from the bar when he yelled “hup”
7. then pee your pants
8. if you did everything correctly, burly sans shirt would grab your arms and swing you back and forth on his trapeze
9. then he would release you (toss you basically) and you would back flip into the net

It is easier to understand through pictures, etc. M-Man and I were quite the performers and were able to complete the catch on the first try. Not everyone else was so fortunate (and one never even advanced beyond the initial swing). Yes yes, I’m bragging, but we kicked serious ass! It was so exhilarating that you would be shaking afterwards because of the adrenaline coursing through your veins. I can’t wait to try it again and have actually signed up for the free trapeze class in Chicago for January.