Maybe you should see a doctor about that?

My twin friend Rachel invited me out some weekday to check out her sister’s heavy metal punk band. They were playing at this place called “The Hideout” near Wicker Park (the scary, dimly lit, drug dealer area). The place reminded me of a hunting lodge and the VFW, you know some place where it was acceptable to have cheap wood paneling and hang trophy fish on the wall (oh and believe me, they sure did). I was half expecting Red-Green to come down the stairs and start a Possum Lodge meeting. Those who didn’t religiously watch PBS growing up will not get that reference, but it seriously was the funniest shit on public television. Also not having cable would explain why I am addicted to the Antiques Road Show.

I can’t remember her sister’s band’s name, but I do recall their most popular song….”I’m pissing blood”. I think the lyrics were like “got drunk last night, don’t feel right, I’m pissing blood, I’m pissing BLLLOOOOOOODDDDD, is this just a disease, or am I abusing my kidneys…” Catchy right?

Amused, we stuck around for the next band called “The London Homosexuals”. They specialize in psychedelic music which basically means they aimlessly jam for fifteen minutes straight and call it a song. I think the lead singer made out with the microphone at one point. Okay, you can’t say he was technically a lead singer since that would imply that he actually sang instead of occasionally moaning into the mic. The guitarist from Rachel sister’s band said they are all about musical masturbation. After 20 or so minutes, I asked Rachel if she wanted to leave because I frankly didn’t get it. I’m sure people love that kind of music….the extremely high people. I wonder if the mounted trophy fish started talking to them later?