Curtains closed.

Normally I wouldn’t write about something so personal (then again I have written about farting and waxing my junk) but it is a funny story none-the-less. I went into the gyno doctor for my annual woman’s check up. Simply the routine look and scrape, no special circumstances or reasons other than I am mandated to do this every year. Since I haven’t seen a doctor since moving, I needed to find one in the Chicago-land area. I just picked one with an office three blocks from work. I am waiting in the white sterile patient room reading all of the informative posters on the walls like “know the facts on STD’s” and “self examination instruction chart” when a man walks into the room. Okay, not any man, a hot young man. If I wasn’t already smitten, I would have totally hit on this guy because he was gorgeous, about my age, and apparently held a good regard for hygiene since he worked in a doctor’s office. I started rolling up my sleeve for the blood pressure cuff since he was obviously the hot physician assistant. To my surprise he says “Hello, I’m doctor X and since you are a new patient, I would like to gather your personal and family health history.” Um no….hell to the no! I’m not letting a hot Doggie Houser look up my whoo-ha. It is uncomfortable enough when it is a woman and you feel the need to make polite conversation to ease the awkwardness of her sticking things inside your nether regions. I mean, what if it was not a routine visit but I had to ask him about white foam and unpleasant discharge or something worse like CRABS! After the shocked silence, I said “I’m sorry…I can’t….I would like to request another doctor”. He didn’t ask for a reason, but he chuckled when I answered “an OLD man” when he asked if I had a preference to any other doctor in the medical group office. Poor guy, I bet his gyno practice is suffering because he is so good looking.