Mr. Rebound

The night that did not end started outside the bar Pianos down in the lower east side. Bree had an out-of-town friend visiting and she wanted to go clubbing. Our club of choice is Libation only because Fadel works there and usually scores us VIP room and free bottle service. Well since the club usually does not get going until 2am, we decided to meet at the Pianos bar across the street at 11pm. Even with a train delay (I was seriously stopped between two subway stops for twenty minutes) I was the first to arrive (as always….am I the only one who attempts to arrive on time). The line for Pianos was around the block and they were charging a $10 cover. Okay for a bar that we were going to just kill time at, a line and cover were just not worth it. I decided to walk around the area to find another “kill time” bar without a line and/or cover. Well I turned the corner and heard “Lindsay!” shout out. I look to see my work friend Angelica. She is the girl I crammed for the PE with, and unlike most typical engineers, she is awesomely cool! Anyway, she was out with her roommate (Insuik) and friend (Rose), both of which I met at her house party last month. Well to be obvious, they all are very nice and very cute Asian women. They were just leaving dinner and heading off to another bar (VIG) down in Soho. I decided to join them and texted the gang (Ali, Josh, Bree and her friend) of the venue change. A cosmo later, the gang showed up very intoxicated. The bar is set up with two rooms…the front was crowded and had the actual bar, the back was quite, dark, and very lounge like with comfy benches and chairs. My Asians stayed up front while the gang enjoyed the comfort of the back lounge. Well I tried to be Miss Popular and swing between the two groups during the night. Well my Asians are really sweet and cute (but with a hint of naughty) so all the Asian guys in the place were circling them like sharks. I stopped in to talk to Insuik and the tall Asian guy she was standing near asked me “hey, do you even know her?” Well I guess I interrupted his attempt to hit on her but Insuik called him out by blurting out “you think she doesn’t know me because….she’s not Asian!” Ah ha ha ha! Seriously, I was the token white kid in that crowd but who cares anyway.

On my way to the gang in the back, I ran into Bree. She was having a fight with her shoe. Evidently, she stepped in gum (or something sticky) and was having one hell of a time trying to get it off. Okay imagine a slightly intoxicated (who am I kidding, I think she was drunkity drunk drunk) girl dragging her leg along the ground like a gimp. Then she took off her shoe and started to scrape it against the wall and table. While she was moving around (with pizzazz), she bumped into a guy and his friend. When I looked up at him (he is 6’-3” tall) I suddenly realized how gorgeous he was. Okay I have picture proof his good looks were not the result of beer goggles. I apologized for Bree (at this point she was so infuriated with her shoe that she flung it across the room) and used it as an excuse to talk it up with handsome hottie! Oh and I owe Bree big time for “bumping” into him. Turns out he is tall, blonde, smart, funny, very athletic, a successful merger businessman, and track star wiry (seriously not an ounce of fat on his gorgeous hard body). Basically my friend Melanie could say “my type to a T”! Okay how lucky am I!!!

I chatted up with the guy before excusing myself so I could check on Bree and the gang (and to let him get back to his large group…oh and not to smother him). Before I walked away, he made it a point to tell me exactly where he would be at the bar (good sign right). After about ten minutes it was time to check on my Asians and get a drink at the bar (and get a water for Bree even though she did not ask). I saw him at the other end of the bar trying to get the attention of the very large male bartender. Luckily for me, Rose knew the bartender (Ron) and he quickly b-lined over to serve us. I asked him to send a shot down to the good looking guy at the end of the bar (ha, I figured it would be a nice gesture…and a way to get him drunk so I could take advantage of it….did I mention I am a predator). Anyway, the guy (okay his name is Sean) looked relieved to have finally gotten the bartender’s attention, and was even more surprised to see the shot. He toasted me from across the room. Later, I was lounging with the gang in the back when he approached me (alone). His friends were leaving to go dancing and he insisted that I join them. Normally I would not ditch my friends, but Josh and Bree gave me the thumbs up since he was such a hot slice. On my way out the door, I said goodbye to my Asians. I asked if anyone wanted to go dancing, and Rose responded “hell yes!” Okay back story on Rose. She is 32, single, and a bit innocent (but totally not…you know the type of girl you bring home to mom but who secretly has edible panties on)! She is living life like a 21-year old and has no shame.

Okay Rose and I met Sean outside with his friends. He was with three guy friends and four girls. One of the girls was dating one of his friends. The other three girls were friends with the girlfriend and had staked claim on the remaining guys. Well as you can guess, the girls didn’t care for Rose and I (those random girls) because we were invading their territory (and I was clearly the interest of the most good looking one….ha ha take that pretentious bitches!). Anyway, obviously it was the girls who wanted to go dancing even though they were all wearing high heel pointy toe shoes which make for very muted dancing unless you have a Chinese bound foot. I told them about my sweet deal at Libation and we headed off in its direction. Well after two blocks of walking, the girls started complaining and the guys started questioning the location of the club. Okay, I was certain about the clubs location but the guys were drunk enough to question which way was North, etc. Three of them tried to google it, but evidently google was down at the moment (my theory is that they were too drunk to work their blackberries).

Anyway the girls didn’t want to walk anymore (even though I was wearing 4 inch stiletto leopard print heels…..yes they are mad sexy…and I was still fine with walking) so we popped into the nearest club Happy Ending. Actually, the guys had been there before and really talked it up on the way over. The club is in the basement and was a former massage parlor/spa. Therefore, all the walls and floors were tiled. I sounded interesting enough but the downside was that the place gets steamy fast! Well we walk in and there are maybe 15 people there. Huh? The guys were embarrassed since they were just raving about how cool the place was. Rose and I didn’t care and marveled at the tiled walls and massage rooms/private lounges. Actually I was glad the place was not busy because I didn’t want my make up to melt off, and plus we were able to get seats in the lounge. Well the individual massage rooms off the main area had tiled benches and glass partitions therefore making them mini-lounges. The only problem was the lack of privacy since the wall was glass (and therefore everyone in the main lounge could see you even if you could not see them). Well most of the rooms were either empty or occupied by a small group of people. The one on the end (the one we sat in front of) only had a guy and girl in it. The girl was on the guy’s lap and they were making out like crazy. Well they would smooch and then stare into each other’s eyes, whisper something, kiss, hand slipping under the skirt, hand unbuttoning the shirt…well you get the picture. Yeah the consensus was that they were going to “do it” right in front of us. At one point the bouncer came into their room. We all thought he was going to stop it, but he just picked up the empty glasses around them and left. Rose leaned in and whispered, “okay I know I shouldn’t look, but I cannot stop staring….does that make me a pervert”. I told her “no, in fact, if I watch ten more minutes of this….I’m going to throw Sean down on the floor (you know in a good way)”.

The girls wanted to move on to club with more people, so we hit the pavement again. The good thing about Soho and Lower East Side is that there is a club practically every block. I don’t recall the name of the next place but it was on Stanton and Chrystie. Of course it had a line and a very fierce looking giant bouncer in sunglasses (okay 3am…who wears sunglasses unless they are a serious bad ass). Normally you can get bumped up in the line if you have a lot of cute (or seriously skanky…wait that is one in the same for NYC tricks) girls. Even with six girls and four guys, we could not edge our way up. Finally one of the guys (the funny Italian) shouted over to the bouncer “hey…sunglasses…yeah you, any way we can get in before last call?” Well those were not the magic words to say, and therefore we were forced to find another club. We walked east on Houston a few blocks to an after hours club. Again the guys talked this one up, and once again, the place only had a dozen people inside. They covered by saying “well this is an after hour place and it is only 3:45am now…so it will pick up once the other places start to close down”. Wrong! At 4am, they turned on the lights and the cleaning crew started to clean up around us. Uh…what next….sleep!
I wanted to claim my trophy, and luckily we both lived uptown. Just as we hailed a taxi, the funny Italian friend jumped in with us since he also had to go uptown. Sean shot him the “thanks douche bag cock blocker!” look which made me laugh since boy’s intentions can be soooo obvious. Needless to say, we worked out the cab situation and both got home in the wee hours of morning. The lesson of the story is that I still got mad game! Mothers, hide your sons...I am back!