No lov'in in an elevator

Here is a ditty from my work day. I walked into my work elevator lobby to see a giant coffin being rolled around. Yeah, a real coffin! Of course it gave me a shock, because hey it is not every day you see one of those things let alone in an office building. Turns out it was part of the inventory for one of the offices in the building that rents props for TV shows/movies, etc.

I stepped into the elevator with another person from my floor (different company though) and a woman from the 7th floor. As the doors were closing, a very elderly woman shouted “hold the doors!” Normally I would hit the door close button (because I am an elevator bitch), but the 7th floor lady quickly pressed the open button. The old old old lady shuffled in and asked us to hold the doors open because her husband was coming. What felt like ten years later, the man finally stumbled into the elevator. If you could believe it, he was even older looking than his wife. He heavily used the assistance of a cane and was breathing/wheezing like he had just finished a 400m race.

Just as the doors closed and we started ascending, the old lady said “three please”. Uh oh. We informed her that this was an express high rise elevator serving floors 7-18. The woman who works on my floor (18th….penthouse yeah baby) said they could get off with the 7th floor lady and catch an elevator going down. Well the 7th floor lady freaked out and started saying that there are no down elevators on her floor and even barred the door (preventing them from exiting) when it stopped. I’m thinking “okay, of course there are down elevators on the 7th floor because hey I know you don’t take the stairs, and she probably just doesn’t want him to die on her floor and have to deal with it, etc”. The other woman and I told the couple, “okay that didn’t make sense, but hey we are both on the 18th floor and you can just take it down after that”.

Well the guy collapsed/leaned into the side of the elevator…and it just happened to be the button side. The 18th floor woman and I in slow motion were like “noooooo” and tried to catch him. Too late, his body ended up pressing every floor! Bastard! Yeah call me evil for being more concerned about stopping at every freaking floor than his well being. Needless to say, the 18th floor woman and I glared at the old couple for the remainder of the very long elevator ride.