Yankee stadium, that is up in the Bronx...by Norway

Although I am not a baseball fan, I sure have seen a lot of games in NY. Last night, I went to the Yankees-Baltimore game with Bree. She originally bought the tickets for Ali since he is a huge Orioles fan, but he had to work. The people watching alone is totally worth feigning interest in baseball. There were several moments during the game when the crowd erupted in cheer and bolted up, and we looked at each other and said “wait, what just happened…never mind, I’ll just watch the instant replay”.

Our next seat neighbors were quite the specimens. On our right was a 50ish upstate couple complete with elastic band shorts and khaki ball caps with a fishing company logo. They did not stop eating the entire game! Seriously, these people put down a bag of cracker jacks, a hotdog, two frozen lemonades cups, and a giant pretzel. Every time a vender would come by, they would call up an order. Bree estimated they spent at least $30 just on food alone.

Now our neighbors on the left also had quite the food passion, they were just smart and brought snacks in with them. Oh who am I kidding, they had freaking meals! They kept pulling out little aluminum foil packages with various goodies. Our favorites (at least for mocking them) were the homemade egg McMuffins. We eventually moved up a row of seats because the woman to our left (muffin girl) was spilling over her seat into Bree’s. Okay sorry to rant but I hate it when the person next to you is overflowing and you have that uncomfortable upper arm or thigh touching. From a row up, we were able to inspect our indulgent neighbors. They were both Puerto Rican (big give away was the giant PR flag jewelry hanging on the guy’s chest) and loving it. Speaking of jewelry, I don’t understand people’s need to wear chain over chain over chain of necklaces or bracelets. They guy had four rings, six bracelets (on one hand), and five necklaces. The woman was no different except her wedding ring was not a giant Yankee’s logo like the guy’s.

Although out new seats left us free on either side, we were put right under a group of children. I kept getting hit in the head with a giant foam finger. Plus one kid had such the speech impediment that I had to turn around and verify he was not physically deformed! Seriously, these kids would not stop talking, shouting, or replaying the last play (look, he hit the ball or look, they just got an out…Daaaaad got an out!). I soon thought of a good place to shove that foam finger.

One of the chaperones to the tornado kids was a scrawny, tattooed, t-shirt (with the sleeves cut off…classy) wearing middle aged man. He bragged to the other adults that he was single and liked to mingle…at the game. Well at least give him credit for rhyming, unless he heard some other sleaze-ball say that outside. He also bragged that the bottled water he was drinking was imported from Norway and it cost $8 a bottle. Ummm, yeah, riiiiight. He said to the group, come on you know it is expensive to get stuff from Norway, it is all up next to Finland and stuff. I hope the “stuff” he was referring to was uh Sweden. Idiot1

Enough of the kids, time to get a beer, just one problem…..When Bree called over a beer vender, he said to us “no I can’t sell to you, you are in the no drinking section”. Huh? Does that even exist? I guess that would explain why the tickets were cheap and we were surrounded by children. He did let her buy a beer as long as she bought it in the next section over. She was supposed to drink it over there, but I called her back over to sit with me and share my children filled misery. Luckily she finished it before the security guard (and his apprentice) showed up and scanned the crowd (with arms folded) for banned drinkers. I don’t know what came over me, but I blurted out (quietly) “excuse me sir, I believe that is an unauthorized egg McMuffin”. Yeah we thought it was hilarious.

By the sixth inning, we moved one section over (a drinking section). Our main amusement was immaturely giggling at cheers for Wang the pitcher. He he he, Wang. The real treat came in the 7th inning. The field groomers have a tradition of dancing to YMCA! Yeah choreographed and everything! It was so awesome, and the pictures don’t do it justice.