Come on over you sexual he-man

The weekend kicked off early with a date with swim boy on Thursday. Count it, second date. We headed out to his sweet condo (yes he owns) in Brooklyn (groan) to watch a movie. Well there are certain things that are appropriate to disclose on your second date, and there are things better kept for…well never. He had some artwork from his young cousins (who call him Uncle Mark…okay, doesn’t quite match but hey they are only six or so) hanging up…everyone now, awwww so cute. Anyway, while digging thru his photos to find a snap of the kiddies, he showed me some old pictures of him. Okay, the little tike ones were super cute since he had a mop top of curly auburn hair. However, the teenage ones captured the “awkward phase” well. I kept thinking, dude this is not a way to win over the affections of a lady. Later we listened to his 80’s mix for his friend’s upcoming wedding. Basically the couple got smart and economical and asked their close friends to put together play lists in lieu of hiring a DJ. Anyway, he loves big hair bands of the 80’s (another plus) like me, but he also is quite fond of Christina Aguilera! What! Yeah he threw on genie in a bottle and was like “she is so talented, wait check out this music video”. If I wasn’t already 100% certain he digs chicks, I could make an argument in the gay column (not another one!). Ah ha ha ha. Okay, I am harsh but at least he is still holding my attention which is one of the greatest compliments I can bestow on mankind.

Riding to and from Brooklyn was put to good use because I was able to finish the newest Harry Potter book. Now I am not one of those super fans who line up at midnight and dress up for the movie premiers (yes I have seen those people here, then again they could have just been dressing up as witches/wizards because it was a Wednesday…only in NYC). I enjoy the books and wanted to read it before the media was flooded with spoilers. Yeah I have been dodging news articles or programs for fear of them blurting out major plot points or who dies, etc. Seriously, I will be watching the news and then they switch to a HP updated and I have to immediately turn the channel.

Saturday night I traveled to the West Village to celebrate my running friend Aimee’s birthday. Earlier that day, we ran 11 miles as part of our self scheduled half marathon training. A gang of us ate at the Blue Ribbon Bakery on Bedford (say that three times fast). We had the sweet chef’s table down in the wine cellar. Since we were surrounded by wine, we were inspired to consume some….well lots! One good bottle was called “barrel of monkeys”. No joke. The label had a 50’s looking ad with a woman talking on the phone with a monkey (well monkey in a tux). The caption below the pictures explained how this was no ordinary chimp, but a sexual he-man, blah blah blah. Well we thought that was hilarious (granted a generous amount of wine was consumed) and made the birthday girl wear the label like a tattoo on her arm the remainder of the night. Okay, how can Chimps dressed up in human clothes not be funny? You don't have a soul if you don't find that funny!

The group gave Patty a good ribbing for her level of vegetarian classification. She will not eat anything with feet. Cow, no, chicken, no, lobster, no, fish, yes. You get the point. Well we all got slap happy and started asking her if she would eat a snake since it had no feet. Then someone brought up a legless turtle (just head and shell). Yeah, it was a riot at the time. I think we stumped everyone on seal since they technically have flippers and not feet.

Later the gang headed out to the bars of the west village (I want to say a tap room but it was around St. Lukes). Our group had control of the back pool room where we drunkenly challenged each other to really long and awful games of pool. Seriously, it would take five turns before a ball would sink. Eventually a group of hustler guys came in and put their quarters down for next. Well we were no match and they soon had only the 8-ball to land (yeah we still had four or five balls left on the table). The burly guy shot and sunk the 8-ball….and scratched! We all jumped up (seriously, druuuuunk) and celebrated our victory (or their misstep, take your pick).

Thankfully it rained all day Sunday, so I was able to get some cleaning done in my apartment. Wait, did I say cleaning, I mean TV watching and intermittent naps throughout the day. TBS was having a My Boys marathon. Now when this show first came out, my Chicago guy friends called me up and said “I swear it is like they were watching us…seriously freaky similar to our lives!”. I never had the time to catch anything more than one or two episodes during the season, but now with the marathon, I was able to catch the entire season. Seriously, five hours of straight TV watching. I was so worthless, but the show is soooo good that I could not turn it off. I called a few friends and told them to call the cable company and have them shut off the program so that I would not spend the entire day on my couch. No luck, I was that lazy.